The Real Deal March 1, 2006 | March 9, 2006 What makes a great sales person? That is the million dollar question. No Wait. That is the Billion Dollar question! Hollywood would like to have you think that good sales people are slick or at best clever. The truth is the most successful salesman is honest. Dead honest. What do I mean? Nobody feels comfortable in a sales meeting when the whole direction of the meeting is talking about the sale. Think about it, it's unnatural. When you go out to dinner with friends, imagine what it would be like if your conversation focused on the fact that you were going out to dinner with your friends. "So Bill, what do you think about this dinner you are having with me and Amy? We sure are glad to have friends like you and Sally to go to dinner with. Yes Dan, this dinner we are having with you and Amy is great. We like having dinner too." YUCK! AKWARD! Who would want to go out with people like that? Nobody. So why is a sales dinner / outing / event or meeting any different? It's not. Do you know why so many business deals are conducted on the golf course? I'll tell you why. Because you are playing a game. Because you have to concentrate on the game. And because everybody in some way is equally frustrated by the game. You and your soon to be customer or business partner have something in common that has nothing to do with your business. (unless you are in the golf business, in which case you have the best of both worlds) You have a connection. You see, people do not like to be spoken at. They want to be spoken with. We want to connect with people. Just think of the personality that draws the most interest in a crowded room. I purposely did not say 'most attention' because interest is usually achieved by people who are engaging and attention is often drawn with a big splash of look at me and forget you. When an engaging person is the only one talking, it is clear that they are still including you in the conversation even if they are doing so with eye contact alone. They are making a connection and that is why we are drawn to them. Let's be realistic, you are not going to become college buddies with the Buyer on the other side of the dinner table, but you can make a connection. You can open up to his or her human side and everyone has one. When you think about it, you already have something in common. You both would probably rather be somewhere else and that's OK. That's actually good to acknowledge, just don't vocalize it. What you want to achieve is an enjoyable time, a good experience, a good connection. Getting back to the college buddy reference, keep this in mind, if you could do business with only good friends, I mean help them out and know they were looking out for you, you would. Right? Of course! So don't be short sighted here with a stranger, make that person a new friend. You can have very successful business relationships with strangers, but friends, even casual friends will go the extra mile. This is why companies spend millions of dollars on expense accounts for salespeople to take potential clients out to shows and for other perks. They want to forge relationships. Recently, I was in Las Vegas and met a group of people from a marketing team based in Chicago. We were not in a Convention Hall, we were in a bar and they explained to me that they were there taking one of their biggest clients out for the evening. Well, after a little while of shmoozing, I was invited to sit down with the group beyond the VIP section. (Side Note: Almost every time I have been to the other side of the velvet rope at a fancy bar or club it is never as much fun. Sure it's cool to go there and feel exclusive but believe me, that wears off quick and your left separated from everyone else having fun in the crowd.) I quickly learned that although most members from either company had never met each other, everyone was getting along like old friends. The setting and atmosphere was non-threatening. It was great to see an associate of the marketing firm actually having a deep and familiar conversation with the Director of the client company. The marketing firm was making connections. I did not hear a single reference to work. It was fantastic, and you can be certain that this relationship will shine favorably on the business relationship. People like to work with people they like. Years ago I was promoting a friend's Dry Cleaning Service in N.J. Handle With Care Cleaners in Teaneck, NJ & Monsey, NY. I would go door to door trying to entice potential customers to try the service at a first time deep discount. The pitch was simple. Try this service because it is the best, and it was and still is. The problem was that there is so much clutter that people are confronted with everyday that they don't allow themselves to listen to a good opportunity. They just dismiss it as yet another salesman selling something. So quickly, I had to stop being a sales man. I chose not confront them with "Listen to me" and "Let me tell you" because all they heard was Blah, Blah Blah. Instead, I would introduce myself with something genuine but completely different. For instance, I would comment on an ornament in the front of their house or a picture in plain view from the doorway. Pretty soon they were asking me what I wanted to talk to them about and many times it was well after several minutes of discussing unrelated topics or in some cases after they had already invited me in to their home for something to drink. They saw I wasn't some scary unknown. I was someone with something worth their attention. But more importantly, I was a person just like them, who didn't want to waste their time. There was a connection and now they were ready to buy or try something new. Sure some people didn't care what I said or did and were determined not to give me the time of day but you cannot let that knock you down, it's par for the course. Some times it gets very rough out there. Sales is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Crudely, some call it a numbers game and that's not entirely false, but those numbers are individual people who respond to connections and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will realize the sales you are working so hard for. Check back from time to time and I will add to this link more stories to share. If you have any questions or comments, I’d love to hear from you. Sincerely, Daniel Brody